I’m Going to Be a Dad (in a Few Days)

My wife’s due date is August 3rd. We’re having a girl. And I’m scared.

My pain has gone way up, and my fear has too. I am doing lots of calming things: being outside in nature, swimming, taking baths, doing Feldenkrais and inquiry and meditating. But still, my nervous system is reacting strongly.

I wish I knew some parents with chronic pain. I want to ask them, How was the birth of your child? What’s it like to be a parent with pain? I wish I had a support group to talk about this stuff with. But I haven’t found a community yet. I’m hoping to find one at the online disability studies Master’s program I’m beginning this fall.

Anyone out there a parent with chronic pain? With severe anxiety or panic or PTSD?

I am in awe of you. And I would like to hear from you.

How do you do it?



2 thoughts on “I’m Going to Be a Dad (in a Few Days)

  1. Pain, anxiety, PTSD all make parenting more challenging than it would be otherwise. BUT you will get through it. I wish I could say, “do this and it will help” but there aren’t really any answers like that. One thing to remember is that fear and pain are intimately connected. If you can decrease fear you can decrease pain. The only thing I’ve found to help with fear is meditation and focused relaxation. A little goes a long way. Try taking 5 minutes each day to lay down in the most comfortable position you can find and notice where you are holding tension in your body. Do it even if you don’t want to. Also, if you haven’t tried it yet, cannabis is immensely helpful. It’s funny because people joke about using wine to relax when parenting. But bring up cannabis to help with raising children and suddenly everyone gets all uptight. There are so many ways to use cannabis (edibles, vaporizing). You can even get CBD products that provide no psychoactive effects but still help with pain and anxiety. Don’t overlook this powerful medication! And finally know this. Your daughter will teach you everything you need to know about parenting her. It’s going to be OK!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your kind, thoughtful response! And sorry for my late reply. Getting adjusted has taken me off the map for a while! I think all your advice is very good and I agree, I have found meditation and relaxation helpful, as well as CBD. It was a very rough first few weeks, but has been getting easier. As long as my wife gets the help she needs, then I don’t need to push myself to care for her when I’m having a lot of pain, and gradually I’m finding that I’m capable of doing a bit more. There’s no road map for this, but we are finding our way. And if things get beyond my ability to cope, I’m looking into inpatient treatment programs for chronic pain. It would be hard to leave our daughter for a couple months, but worth it if I can improve a bit. Anyway, thank you. I really appreciate your words 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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