Day Three

I am tired and sore today.

Three hours of physical therapy: one-on-one, chair yoga, and conditioning (where we go around trying to get our heart rate up on treadmills and recumbent bikes). Pain is flaring from time to time but I am gently, patiently sticking with it and the pain usually goes. Actually surprised at how well I’m doing. It’s been years since I did this much social interaction and activity. Go body!

My relationship with the other patients in the program is deepening. I am getting to know more about them, their history and stories and personalities. I am so glad to be in a supportive group of folks my age. Today they all gathered around and told me how inspiring I am as an example of someone who has found some peace and freedom in pain. I almost cried. I love these people. Already! And it’s only Day 3.

Insurance hassles are making me worried about having to pull out of the program. But I’m just taking it a day at a time, trying not to “catastrophize.” That’s part of my problem. I think I know what’s best for me, what should happen in my life, what my pain means, what I need to recover, and then I behave as if those beliefs are true. But are they?

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