Day Sixteen

Today was a good day.

I told my occupational therapist and psychologist that I felt they were pushing me too fast about increasing my sitting tolerance. I told them that I wanted to take the lead on pacing my sitting. And they were very open to that. They heard me and understood me, and I feel much better about pacing sitting now. That was a huge relief. I was so scared about telling them the truth, but when I did it was so easy. Now we’re on the same page. I don’t have to feel like everyone’s breathing down my neck about not lying down.

Our group planned an outing for Friday, as a way to test our pain management skills in a novel setting. On Friday, we’re going mini golfing. So that will be fun.

I’m trying to think of funny, specific details about today to make this post more interesting. I can’t think of any. But yesterday we had a funny nutrition lecture where we learned important skills like:

When you are hungry, go ahead and eat something.

When you are full, that’s a sign you can stop eating.

If you are really hungry, you may want to eat more than usual.

Interesting stuff.┬áThen the nurse leading the lecture showed us a YouTube video of a guy who eats one huge meal a day and does intermittent fasting, and guess what? He’s so healthy. But we may not want to do that.

It keeps on. I don’t know where it’s going or what’s going to land, and that feels fine. Just today, and tomorrow, and the next day. Maybe I will suddenly realize that I haven’t felt pain in a while, that I feel more normal. Maybe getting out of pain will be just as slow and unnoticeable as getting into pain was. Like suddenly I noticed that I was housebound and thinking about pain constantly and avoiding everyone I know and having panic attacks. How did I get there? Hard to say. Maybe the way out will be the same.

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